Starting from the bottom now we’re here!

Hi and a massive welcome to my blog and very first post! Ahhhhhh!

Why have I started this?

I guess I saw it as a way to cleanse myself and the experiences of the past 14 years. Having a child outside of marriage, getting married, having more children, getting divorced and now my journey of starting again.

What are my aims for the blog?

To give an honest account of life as a young, divorced black mother. Warts and all. Hopefully it will be full of laughs, tips and honesty.

What are my goals for the reader?

To connect with what I have to say-  pure and simple! Hopefully to open your mind and not to assume and judge from what is seen on the outside. But most importantly I hope to inspire, hopefully make you laugh and grow personally from being open.

To live is to learn, grow and develop and that is what I am always seeking to do. So let’s get started on this journey of my life….

Who am I?

I am a 34-year-old woman, I am African- Black British (tick box), I have three children and I am divorced. I do not like to classify myself as a single mother, just a mother who happens to be single.

I work full-time job, and I run my own business, so yes my plate is full, but I am not a superwoman as some may think- but I am happy to claim it! I am just focused and a stickler for order. (I blame boarding school!) It is quite difficult to know where to begin, I was going to start with where my life is right now, current situation of juggling motherhood, work, business and dating. (Yes I shall be taking it there!) But then I realised a little bit of background would be required as this is my warts and all life’s journey- so far!

I am the youngest of two from my mother, my dad had other children typical African man! There are 8 vast years between my sister and myself so I pretty much grew up like an only child always chasing what had gone before. I had a lovely childhood. My mum was strict but loving and always working hard to provide for us- herself a single mother. Were there things I wanted yes but not needed and I never felt as though I missed out. At 11, after seeing the outside influences on my sister’s life my mum felt it best for me to be educated privately. I took an entrance exam and there I was several months later packed and ready to go to boarding school.

Now boarding school is nothing like the films you have watched, but maybe a little like some of the books I read as a child, and this is English boarding school I write about, not African! (Big difference lol) I don’t know if I am looking back at the experience with rose-tinted glasses but I loved it! The experience made me the person I am today. Fiercely independent, focused, orderly, a stickler for time keeping, a strict bed maker, competitive, sporty but also disconnected sometimes from friends and family. It is a funny balance coming from South London and entering the privileged world of private education. During term time I was open to the delights of those rich enough to afford two or three homes in London and around the world and during the holidays I was back to Woolwich market buying fruit with my mum. I found my accent would adapt to the different situations I happened to be in and in each group I could be laughed at for my accent at certain pronunciations and would quickly remember myself. It was tiring but necessary. So 7 years later as I left school with very good grades (trust if I didn’t my life would not have been worth living) the world was my oyster and I was destined for greatness in my career in Law at least that was the plan!